Calm doesn’t mean dull, sleepy or uninterested. It means being able to think, listen and make good choices.
Retrievers are enthusiastic dogs.
For many of us, that’s one of the reasons we love them.
They greet life with tremendous energy. A walk, a visitor, a tennis ball, a food bowl or the possibility of a retrieve can transform an apparently relaxed dog into a bundle of excitement within seconds.
There is nothing inherently wrong with that enthusiasm.
But there is an important difference between a dog that is excited and still able to think and one whose excitement has become so great that learning becomes difficult.
Understanding that difference can make training considerably easier.
Learning Requires a Thinking Dog
Imagine trying to learn something new when you’re extremely excited, anxious or distracted.
You may hear the words being spoken to you, but processing and remembering them becomes much more difficult.
Our dogs experience something similar.
When a retriever is relatively calm and engaged, they are better able to notice what we’re asking, respond to our guidance and learn from the consequences of their choices.
As excitement rises, their attention increasingly moves elsewhere.
At some point, we may find ourselves giving cues to a dog who is physically beside us but mentally somewhere completely different.
That’s rarely the best time to teach.
Calm Does Not Mean Suppressing Enthusiasm
This is an important distinction.
The aim of training is not to create a dog that never gets excited.
I wouldn’t want that from a retriever.
Their enthusiasm, curiosity and willingness to engage with the world are part of what makes them such enjoyable companions.
Instead, we want to help them develop the ability to move between excitement and calmness.
A dog can enjoy chasing a dummy, running across a field or greeting someone they know.
But they can also learn to pause, reconnect with their owner and think before acting.
That ability is tremendously valuable.
Calmness Creates Better Choices
Much of good dog training involves choices.
Do I rush through the doorway, or pause?
Do I pull towards another dog, or check in with my owner?
Do I chase the dummy immediately, or wait until I’m sent?
When excitement becomes overwhelming, those choices become harder.
When the dog is calmer, we create a little more space between something happening and the dog’s response to it.
That’s where learning can take place.
We can notice the good choice.
Reward it.
Repeat it.
And gradually turn it into a habit.
Success Helps Create Calmness
Interestingly, the relationship works in both directions.
Calmness helps dogs learn.
But successful learning can also help dogs become calmer.
When exercises are clear and achievable, the dog begins to understand what works.
There is less confusion.
Less frustration.
More confidence.
This is one reason I prefer training in small steps.
Rather than continually testing what the dog can do, we create situations in which success is likely and then gradually increase the challenge.
A dog that repeatedly succeeds has good reason to approach the next exercise confidently.
Sometimes the Best Training Decision Is to Make Things Easier
Suppose your dog can sit calmly beside you in the kitchen.
You try the same exercise outside when children are playing nearby, another dog is walking past and somebody has just thrown a ball.
Suddenly the sit disappears.
It can be tempting to conclude:
“But you know how to do this.”
The dog probably does.
What has changed is the situation.
We’ve dramatically increased the level of distraction and probably the dog’s excitement at the same time.
Rather than repeating the cue more firmly, good training may simply mean making the situation easier.
Move further away.
Wait for the excitement to reduce.
Ask for something simpler.
Then reward success.
Taking a step backwards in difficulty can often be the quickest route forwards.
Everyday Life Gives Us Plenty of Practice
We don’t need special training sessions to encourage calmness.
Everyday life provides opportunities.
Before opening the front door, wait for a brief pause.
Before putting down the food bowl, notice a moment of calm attention.
During a walk, acknowledge the spontaneous glance back towards you.
Before throwing a favourite toy or dummy, wait for that tiny moment of connection.
None of these needs to become a lengthy obedience exercise.
We’re simply helping the dog discover that calmness and attention make good things happen.
Calm Is a Skill
We sometimes talk about calm dogs as though they were simply born that way.
Some dogs certainly find calmness easier than others.
But the ability to settle, wait, concentrate and recover from excitement can also be developed.
Like recall, loose-lead walking or steadiness, it improves through practice.
And once we begin thinking of calmness as something that can be taught and reinforced, rather than something a dog either possesses or doesn’t, our approach changes.
Instead of becoming frustrated by excitement, we start looking for opportunities to reinforce its opposite.
Final Thoughts
A calm dog isn’t necessarily a quiet dog.
And a calm retriever certainly doesn’t have to be a boring one.
The dog can still run, play, explore and enjoy all the things retrievers were bred to enjoy.
What we’re developing is something more useful:
the ability to think even when life becomes exciting.
That ability makes communication easier.
It makes good choices more likely.
And it creates the conditions in which learning can flourish.
So perhaps the goal isn’t simply to teach our retrievers to be calm.
It’s to teach them that they can be enthusiastic about life without losing their connection with us.
And once that connection remains available, even when the world becomes exciting, training becomes considerably easier.
A Thought for This Week
Watch your retriever during one everyday activity they find exciting.
Don’t immediately ask them to do anything.
Simply notice the point at which excitement begins to rise—and then notice the first moment when they reconnect with you.
That small moment is worth recognising.
Because very often, calmness doesn’t begin with a command. It begins with a choice.
Leave a Reply